


if you fall (then i will too)

by risquetendencies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Temporary Character Death, i feel i should stress there IS comfort to this hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 02:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13730772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risquetendencies/pseuds/risquetendencies
Summary: Their world is safe now.Koutarou thinks it as he watches the now lifeless body of the sea monster slink beneath the waves. The impact of it on the surface creates a ripple that rocks their small boat, buffeting it for several seconds to where he almost thinks it will upend. It doesn’t, settling instead as the water smooths back out into a placid state.Or: the aftermath of a victory that soon turns sour.





	if you fall (then i will too)

Their world is safe now.

Koutarou thinks it as he watches the lifeless body of the sea monster slink beneath the waves. The impact of it creates a ripple that rocks their small boat, buffeting it for several seconds to where he almost thinks it will upend. It doesn’t, settling instead as the water smooths back out into a placid state.

It was a long battle, waged amongst rough seas and gale force winds, but they’ve beaten the monster, and saved their coastal village. That’s what’s important, Koutarou thinks. It may only be one monster out of an entire kingdom, but the people they know and care about won’t be under siege anymore. Maybe, now that they’ve proven themselves, they can go to other villages and give them aide.

Akaashi and he make the best team, after all. He never doubted they’d win, and he doesn’t doubt that they can do it again in the future.

With that thought to buoy him, Koutarou looks behind him, wanting to bask in the victory with his partner.

Only, when he looks, Akaashi is collapsed in the bottom of the boat. His limbs are arranged stiffly by his sides with the palms of his hands upturned. Upon closer examination, his skin is strangely pale for how Koutarou knows it to be, almost bloodless by comparison. His expression is blank, and his eyes shut.

Fear guts Koutarou like a hunting knife, but he tries not to panic.

“Keiji?” he tries, swallowing hard.

There’s no response.

He inhales sharply, a little more fear slipping through the cracks in his defenses. Koutarou kneels down in the keel by Akaashi.

At first, he’s not sure if he should touch him, or how to. It’s laughable in a way, since they’ve touched each other countless times in their years together. He knows Akaashi’s body about as well as his own, from the differences down to the same soulmate mark of an owl on each of their shoulders. It shouldn’t be that hard to touch him, but when he’s scared, it is.

“Keiji,” Koutarou says again, and gently shakes the shoulder without any mark.

Nothing happens. Not even a twitch.

The blood in his veins turn to ice, and tears well up in his eyes, stinging them. He can’t even think, because if he thinks too hard, he’ll have to admit what’s happening right in front of him. And he doesn’t want to believe it’s true. Not yet.

“No,” he gasps weakly.

Feverishly, he starts shaking Akaashi’s shoulder again and again, but each shake only brings to mind how much his body is limp, like a doll’s. It still takes him a few minutes before he stops, all without any sort of reaction from the man he’s now cradling in his arms.

“What’s wrong, Keiji? Why won’t you wake up?”

It goes without saying that he doesn’t get an answer.

“You gotta wake up. Can’t do this without you, need you here-” Koutarou’s voice is thick as each word expels.

Frantically, he looks around the boat, hoping for inspiration. All he sees is their supply bags and weapons, none of which are going to help him right now. What he was hoping for, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t carry medicine; usually Akaashi would heal him with his magic whenever Koutarou was injured. Akaashi was always too careful to let himself get hurt.

But not now. Now, he’s… Koutarou thinks, immediately choking off the thought before it can complete itself. Akaashi just isn’t waking up. That’s all. Shaking his head, he tries to get his brain focused on something else.

Magic.

He just needs to remember some of the spells Akaashi used for him, and one of them is bound to help.

Koutarou pauses where he's kneeling over Akaashi, trying to rack his brain. Most of the spells he can recall don't seem to fit the situation, or he can't recall the words because Akaashi had used them nonverbally. Still, he tries not to lose hope. Something is going to work. He's going to get him back, he has to.

Taking in a deep breath, Koutarou focuses his thoughts on a memory. Six months ago, he’d fallen on the docks and hit his head, losing consciousness. He can remember some of what Akaashi had been chanting when he woke up.

Out of all the memories, it’s the best he has. The closest to the situation he’s in now.

Gathering his energy, he gets ready to attempt it.

Placing his hands a few inches over Akaashi's chest, Koutarou starts muttering incantations at a blistering speed, repeating them over and over for emphasis. Eyes closed in concentration, he gives it a few rounds before he opens them. When he does, he goes slow.

Even as he blinks his eyes open, though, he can already tell that it's made zero difference. Akaashi is still motionless.

Koutarou gulps futilely against the lump in his throat.

No, he thinks despairingly, refusing to believe what he's seeing. It's not what he thinks it is. It's not. It can't be.

He only took his eyes off Akaashi for a few moments at the end of the battle. The rest of the time they had been working in sync with their spellwork; Akaashi's chants boost the accuracy of his offensive hexes. They'd stood shoulder to shoulder. Only toward the end had Koutarou moved up to the prow of the boat, to finish off the sea monster himself.

Nothing could have happened.

The only close call they'd had was in the beginning, when the monster had nicked open Akaashi's robes with one of its razor-sharp fins. It had snuck up from under the waves to hit their boat from the side, and they'd moved just in time to avoid an even worse blow.

Had something happened then that he’d missed?

At the idea, Koutarou wilts, hunching his shoulders. He lets a few tears escape his eyes before he crudely wipes them away with his sleeve.

Giving his partner one last glance over, he makes the call.

Getting even lower, he turns his ear toward Akaashi’s mouth, listening carefully for any breathing. All too soon, he’s moving on to the last resort. With two fingers, he feels around for the pulse point on Akaashi’s neck. Koutarou feels nothing.

He’s gone.

Koutarou’s mouth opens wide, but he doesn’t even hear the sound that claws free from his throat. His world is silent, devoid of everything. He feels nothing apart from the stream of tears now slopping down his face.

Slumping down, he buries his face against the soul mark on Akaashi’s shoulder, kissing it briefly before turning his cheek to rest against it. His arms tighten around the man’s torso, pressing them as closely together as his fading strength can manage.

Koutarou floats adrift, as if the boat had upended in the wake of the monster’s passing and he’d been left to cling to some part of the ship’s wreckage. He’s ashamed.

How could he have not known immediately?

_They share a connection,_ he thinks, creasing his eyes shut in defeat. Maybe it’s not the same as the one twins share from birth, where they seem to know each other’s pain, but a soulmate connection is strong. It increases the output of their magic, and always seems to draw them back to where the other is, eventually, even if they’re lost.

He should have felt it the instant it happened. It should have ripped him apart. It should have been unmistakable for anything else.

If there was anything he could have done to prevent it, he would have done it.

Even if it meant giving up part of his own life to prolong Akaashi’s, he would have done it.

Even if he had to die, he would have done just that.

Sobbing silently, Koutarou lays there, unsure what to do. He doesn't want to move from his post, even though it won't change anything if he does. He's far out in the sea, past the mouth of the bay the village is situated around, and the sky is growing dark. Staying out here longer is ill-advised, and besides, he doesn't have the supplies to camp out overnight.

But does it matter?

He's lost his reason for caring about anything, even his own wellbeing. Maybe it'd be better if he stopped thinking, if somehow he just stopped... existing.

_No_ , a faint voice in his head speaks up.  _You can't._

He listens to it with stony indifference at first, but the more it repeats itself, the louder and stronger the tone grows. Finally, he starts to listen, and listen he does, as the voice takes shape into something he can place. He realizes the identity with a sharp stab to the heart that takes his breath away.

_Akaashi_. It's Akaashi's voice. In his head.

_Just wait it out, Koutarou._

Advice he'd heard from his partner countless times in waking life, sometimes in a light way, other times more scolding. Koutarou knows he's prone to jumping into decisions without thinking them over. It's always been the case that his body has moved faster than his brain. Still, to think that beyond the veil, he's able to hear those words now... it's... he doesn't know a good term to describe it.

Tears squeeze out from his eyes, falling onto the skin he's pressed up against.

He waits it out, keeping himself quiet and his mind blank in the intervening minutes. It's the least he can do in light of that small miracle.

That's one of the things he found himself fearing most when Akaashi's situation sunk in for him. Never hearing his voice again. But he should have known it was in his head too firmly to forget, he thinks, eyes wobbly with even more tears. He'll keep it there forever, or however long it is until they're reunited in the next life.

Sniffling, Koutarou readjusts the position of his head, and feels his cheek slide against something warm.

He stiffens, afraid of what he's found.

It takes him a few seconds to work out that it's only skin, not blood or something worse. Warm skin.

That's nothing.

Just warm skin, he thinks, settling back down.

Warm skin.

Koutarou jerks his head up, and all his breath catches in his throat. He looks down, and gazes right into a pair of open, murky green eyes.

He gasps.

"Keiji!"

Incredibly, Akaashi's face shifts, eyes fluttering closed and then open again. His mouth parts, unveiling a raspy voice.

"Koutarou," he returns, just barely.

He almost wants to shake him again if he didn't sound so fragile, Koutarou thinks jubilantly. He can't believe he's hearing what he's hearing, or seeing what he's currently seeing. After all, it had seemed so real. It had really felt like Akaashi was gone, beyond where he could pull him back from.

"Are you really here?" he half asks, half cries.

"I believe so. Did we - Did you defeat the sea beast?"

"I did, Keiji. I got it," he tells him through a new wave of tears, and the beginnings of a watery smile. "It's not gonna cause any more trouble."

"That's good. Did I... collapse?" Akaashi looks around for the first time, shifting around inside his protective hold. He doesn't get too far before he seems to tire, falling limply back into Koutarou's embrace.

Koutarou swallows hard, remembering the past stretch of time.

"I... I thought you were dead, actually."

Akaashi stares at him questioningly.

"You didn't have a pulse. Weren't breathing, either. I really thought," He feels more tears well up in his eyes. Now that they've started, he thinks, it doesn't matter that things are okay now. They're going to keep coming for a while yet. "I thought I'd lost you."

He goes to wipe his tears, but is beaten by a hand on his wrist that stops him. Koutarou looks at him dumbly, but Akaashi only looks back at him with concern. Letting go of his arm, Akaashi reaches the rest of the way to brush at Koutarou's eyes himself, wiping them clean one at a time.

"I'm here, my love," he murmurs as he does, pausing when his words inspire a new flow of tears. He wipes those as they come, too.

"But how?" is all Koutarou can think to ask.

"Do you remember when I did my research? This beast, in addition to its more physical weapons like its teeth and fins, is after all, magic. It can leave curses behind on the ones who vanquish it. I think that's what must have happened. This particular monster can leave a memento."

"What's that again?"

"It's like an eye for an eye. It ensures that the parties responsible for its death can only kill it at the price of a life. I suppose it was my life that it chose."

"If I could drag it up again, I'd make it choose different!" Koutarou declares darkly, anger coiling in the pit of his stomach.

"I wouldn't."

Akaashi stares at him narrowly, and then props himself up enough to sit. Koutarou raises up with him and lets him rest against his chest, intertwining their hands on Akaashi's leg.

"I'd never let you choose that, either. I would be no good by myself without you. No-" he speaks up, over Koutarou's sudden noise of protest, "Not anymore. Before I met you, perhaps, but this far into things? Not at all, Koutarou. I'd flounder around until I finally got to join you in the next life. It wouldn't be any sort of existence. But you, you my love, you would be able to make something of it. Once you moved on."

Koutarou wants to argue, but the certainty in Akaashi's tone doesn't leave any room for it. He sounds so sure, like he's thought through this exact scenario a hundred times. He probably has. It would be like him to, as bleak as the thoughts would ultimately be. He's tactical to a fault.

Still, there's one more looming question.

"How'd I get you back, then?"

It takes him a while to answer.

"Don't you feel anything different?" Akaashi asks eventually, glancing at him.

"Relief?"

"I don't mean emotionally. Think about your body, and how it feels. What's missing?"

His first instinct is to think 'nothing' because as far as things are going right now, he feels on cloud nine. How could he not, after realizing he hadn't lost the love of his life after all? Anyone would be relieved, happy, maybe a little emotionally turbulent. Still, Koutarou gives it a shot, taking stock of what he's feeling from the tips of his toes all the way to the top of his-

More than halfway through his mental inventory, he realizes it.

Peeling away from Akaashi, he searches his shoulder.

It's bare, normal skin stretched tight over bone and muscle.

Looking down, his own shoulder is, too.

"Our marks?"

Akaashi nods at him, a little sadly.

"In extraordinary cases, sometimes soulmates can bring each other back. But only ever once. There's always a price for it."

"So, we aren't connected anymore?"

"Not in the same way, no. But that doesn't change anything about how I feel about you."

Koutarou looks around the confines of the boat, as if seeing something will make sense of the development. He's had the mark ever since he was eight, and first met Akaashi. At this point, he's had it longer than he hasn't in his life. To be without it, he's not sure how he feels about that. Though, he thinks seriously, if that's the price for what he has now - Akaashi alive in his arms - he'd gladly pay it again. A thousand times over. Nothing can compare to the peace in his heart that comes from being with the one person understands him better than himself.

Looking back at Akaashi, he attempts a smile.

"Me neither. Owls mate for life," he says, using a line that he's used countless times before. He's pretty sure he used it after their first date.

"Even if I'm on somewhat of a second life?" Akaashi asks, tugging on their joined hands.

Koutarou squeezes his hand.

"Wherever you go, I go too. So it wouldn't matter either way. In every life, we're gonna find each other."

Without a soulmate mark to rely on, he shouldn't be certain of it, but Koutarou is.

Tugging Akaashi closer, he embraces him fully, feeling the weight and warmth of him against his chest. It's a healing feeling.

No matter what the future holds, in this life or any of the next, he's sure that nothing beats this.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Inspiration** : [this post](http://imaginary-legendary-hamilton.tumblr.com/post/147791746936/writing-prompts), #76: “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”
> 
> If you enjoyed, consider leaving a brief comment or kudos. They mean a lot to me, and keep me writing! Lastly, thanks for reading. This was a bit different from what I usually write, so I consider it an experiment. Hopefully a successful one.
> 
> Lastly, thanks to @Foxyena for being my beta on this fic!


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